I’ll keep this short… for those who know me, this is not my best forte!  After months of hard work to get our film rough cut ready for an audience screening, Shanti Kiya and myself sat down and on a second rough cut, taking into account the feedback we received at the screenings. Having made about 350 changes, some small tweakings and some ruthless chopping, I decided to take a month out and take a rest. In this time… the FRACKERS came to town to a village near us.

Being right on my doorstep, I couldn’t refuse ‘the call’ so for the next seven weeks, I took my camera to the protest site and recorded what I witnessed, uploading several short films to our ‘worldwidewave’ youtube page.

What I saw shocked me to the core.  Being a ‘nice’ north London middle class girl I always believed the police were there to support and protect us. What I didn’t expect to see was a level of brutality from the police in response to a peaceful protest. Never once in those seven weeks did I witness any violence from any of the protesters, but I cannot say the same for our beloved British police force.  As Middle England stood up and said ‘Lock the Gate’ against the fracking companies, the police mounted their own protection campaign of the oil company Cuadrilla. The protesters became ‘the protectors of the land’ and the police became the oil company’s lackeys.  Where were their orders coming from?  They seemed determined to allow these Shale Gas companies to carve up Sussex and turn it into an industrial nightmare, not to mention the potential air and water hazards. However I think the media caught the imagination of the country and slowly support grew for the protesters.  

Many of these protesters followed the fracking ‘rig’ up north and spent a harsh winter coming up against the brutality of the Manchester police force whilst protecting the land at Barton Moss.  I have to say that I loved every one of those people I met down at Balcombe.  When faced with authority in that way and to stand in a protest line facing the police is a pretty scary experience, and these peaceful warriors were fearless and quite prepared to stand up for their rights and for the rights of other British people. We have a lot to thank them for and whilst the press and media were busy scorning then as a bunch of ‘hippies’ and out of work professional anarchists, these brave people were stopping the trucks and holding up production at the fracking sites which in turn, started to put off the big investors.  They shone a light on a very non transparent practise and raised awareness of this dangerous industry. Thank you too all you hippies!!

During this time I experienced a small accident when I nearly fell with camera in hand as I tried to get out of the way of the police and oncoming trucks.  As a consequence I put my ‘atlas’ out and shunted my ‘occipital plate’ forwards, so spent several months having these realigned. Then the headaches started…. and copious MRI scans and blood tests ensued.

Thankfully I was eventually diagnosed as having a rare autoimmune condition and more than a year of time out ensued. I was indeed grateful because without a diagnosis and a long course of steroid treatment, I could possibly have been a stroke or heart attack victim who never had any idea that they were harbouring a life threatening dis-ease.  This was my own personal ‘fruit of the rose’ and I heard ‘the call’ and responded to it. I had to make the difficult decision to stop everything.  Put the film on hold whilst I took time out to focus on myself, and to heal and repair.  

We all know what happens when you ignore the warnings and continue on a bad path.  When spirit speaks and you don’t listen, it will come back again and again, with harsher lessons each time until you STOP and take action. I suddenly realised that without me, the film wasn’t a happening thing and I was committed to bringing it to the screen and the best way I knew how to do this was to CHANGE.  Change everything about my lifestyle.  Sleep more, rest well, eat well, change my diet. As I became wheat and gluton free, sugar free, dairy free, I began to meditate more and focused on becoming stress free.  Stress… the biggest modern day killer. 

As I detoxed and betan to leg go of stuff both physical and emotional,  I began to let go of my old self limiting beliefs and used affirmations to endorse how blessed and grateful I was.  I physically let go off my belongings as my personal funds dwindled to nothing and life began to look quite bleak.  I was experiencing horrible side effects from the steroids and couldn’t afford the help I needed. Not even a visit to a naturopath.  But I always knew I was blessed and guided by spirit and I knew that this was part of my teaching.  Be careful what you ask for when you make a film about change and the shift in consciousness  (smiling).